Series: The Loop | Part 2 of 5 : When Leaving Isn’t an Option

One trend I keep seeing is that people stay in their current roles because leaving simply isn’t an option.
The job market is uncertain. AI is changing the nature of work. Moving to another company doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness. And many people don’t have the luxury of leaving their corporate roles. They have financial commitments, mortgages to pay, children in school, and responsibilities to fulfill.
So, even when they are unhappy or unfulfilled in their current roles, they stay. They remain where they are.
Korn Ferry described this trend as “job hugging” in its August 2025 article. More recently, in January 2026, Gartner used the term “regrettable retention” to describe disengaged employees who remain in their roles.

So what can you do if leaving isn’t an option?

In my recent book, What Now? From Autopilot to a Life You Choose, I share two stories that offer different perspectives.

Julie Powell: Creating Something Outside of Work

The first story comes from the movie Julie & Julia, based on Julie Powell’s real story.
At thirty, Julie was working in a government job, handling emotionally draining calls related to the aftermath of 9/11. She wasn’t happy in her role, but she couldn’t afford to quit.
Instead of waiting for things to change at work, she chose to start something outside her job that brought her excitement and meaning.
She started a blog and committed to cooking all 524 recipes from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking in 365 days.
She created what I call a “container”: a structured commitment with a clear purpose, daily practice, and a finish line.
Her circumstances at work didn’t change. But her life did.
What started as a personal project during evenings and weekends became a source of energy, creativity, and connection. It inspired not only Julie but also the people around her, and eventually opened doors she had never imagined.
She didn’t need to leave her job to begin changing her life.

Mark: Redesigning His Role From Within

The second story comes from one of my former coaching clients. (*Note:the actual names and details has been changed in my book to protect the confidentiality of my clients)
Mark was unhappy in his role and seriously considering quitting. He had moved from managing people into an individual-contributor role, and along the way, he had lost some of his sense of purpose and fulfillment.
As we explored his authentic self, values, strengths, and life purpose, something became clear.
What energized him wasn’t managing projects. It was helping people grow and develop.
He valued connection and growth, was good at developing others, and wanted to leave a legacy of stronger leaders.
So rather than leaving his job, he started experimenting.
He volunteered for a leadership development initiative within his organization and allocated mentoring hours for people who wanted guidance and support.
A year later, he was in a very different place. His job didn’t change, but his days started to align with his authentic self.
He found greater fulfillment while contributing to others’ development, and he also added value to his organization.

From Having to Stay to Choosing to Stay

Julie and Mark took different paths. Julie built something meaningful outside her job. Mark found a way to make his current role more meaningful.
They did not wait for the perfect opportunity or for their external circumstances to change. They focused on what they could control. And this brings me to an important question:
Are you staying because you have to, or are you choosing how you want to stay?
There is a difference.
Choosing to stay doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly love your job or that your problems will go away. It means seeing your situation differently and owning the choices you still have.
You may not be able to change your organization, your manager, the job market, or your financial commitments. But you may be able to change how you spend your time, where you direct your energy, how you contribute, or what you create outside of work.
You can build your own container: a space where you can act in alignment with your values, authentic self, and life purpose.

What Will You Choose?

Some things in life you just can’t control. But even if you can’t change your situation, then choose what you can control starting from today.
So this weekend, take a moment to pause and reflect.
  • What are your values, your purpose, and what energizes you?
  • What parts of your authentic self are not being expressed in your current role or daily life?
  • If leaving isn’t an option, what could you create, experiment with, or do differently to bring more meaning and fulfillment into your life?
It doesn’t have to be a big change. Sometimes, a small, intentional commitment can make a real difference.
You may not be able to choose all your circumstances today. But you can choose what you do within them.
Pause • Reflect • Choose.